Review - Stolen (24%)

Please do not mistake this review as positive as I will be comparing Stolen to a monstrosity (The Watch). Stolen, step forth and enter the critic's den for your inevitably short stay. As you are unworthy of my eyeballs. This review is going to be short because unlike The Watch there is little I can say because things are not bad in the kind of way that you can say why, they are the kind of bad that's well, just bad.

Lets throw Nicolas Cage's daughter into the boot of my car and drive away whilst he chases me, yeah that sounds like fun, only it isn't. It's predictable which is one kind of bad that even The Watch wasn't. It's the kind of film that just doesn't need to exist.

The story is pathetic and the way that it plays out even more so, but unlike The Watch that I am comparing it too because they are on a similar level of bad, Stolen has you more excited due to the time element "You have twelve hours!" If you can successfully employ the time element to a film, you are already gaining marks in my book. This excitment does evade you come Stolen's dissapointing end, but for the most part I was nearly smiling during Stolen, lifting it slightly above The Watch.

However being slightly above a monstrosity is of course a massive consolation. Stolen is not good enough for me to advise you to watch it and for the love of god don't buy it, but on the minimalistic chance that you ever had to choose between just The Watch and Stolen, take Nicolas Cage's hand and tell Stiller and company to jog on.

Final Verdict - Daughter, daughter, where art thou daughter? Who cares!

SCORE: 24/100